I am sitting down today because for whatever reason The term “Have faith” has been stuck in my head.
“Having faith” and “knowing” are two very different words that mean to entirely different things.
But I got stuck on this and how big the difference “knowing” has made in my life. The term “having faith” was thrown around here and there in my home but the adjective “Knowing” was demanded in my own head for reasons I would like to share.
I have reflected on how different my life would have been and also how incredibly unique it has been simply because I knew all I had to do was “Know” in my heart that I could have everything I really wanted. But only the things in my heart. I knew those were the only things worth chasing because they are the gratifying and honestly the easiest to obtain.
As a huge Professional Wrestling fan from the day I first watched it, I was intrigued by the posters around town advertising a real life wrestling show coming to our little elementary school gym. As a kid who was never exposed to a single show outside of WWF programing, ever, I grew into to this overwhelmingly excited, energetic, kid that you would have sworn was a part of their marketing team the way I spread the word!
For a month and a half straight I lived in this imaginary place of what I thought I would see in the huge extravaganza coming to a town with the population of one New York city block. I still remember the poster clear as day.
That morning the sun came up and the big day was here. Leaving the show I knew it was a day that would change my life.
This company just landed their biggest fan. A 15 year old kid who was now on a mission. I needed more.
My mother at the time was hanging onto her youth and in the early days of “chat rooms” developed a “singles” page on the MIRC program. This chat room grew into a ridiculous amount of people followed by monthly house parties.
A recognizable name pops up into the chat room one day. ThurstonWWO is now listed in the “in room” portion of the screen.
You have to be kidding me! The same James Thurston I just seen that announced himself the owner of the company that blessed my life just 2 weeks prior!? The same 4’7 scrawny little man that needed an elevator to get into the ring, is in my mom’s chat room!
This would be the very first time I would use utilize manifestation in the form “knowing” in my life. I would not even reflect on that fact until just this minute now, some 16 years later. But fact non the less. It was pure energy manifesting a child’s dreams.
Allot of people discuss their “dreams”. It is one of the most vague discussions that people who are not in touch with themselves spiritually ever have. Its spoken about without knowledge, real ideas and or information, and almost impulsive in origin when first discussed. For allot of people it carries a sense of commitment. People tend to says things like “It was my dream ever since I was a little kid” and “That has always been my dream”.
I have yet to meet a person who thinks, behaves, and still todays carries around any of the characteristics or thoughts with them to this day that they may have had when they were 7-12 years old. Your brain functions completely differently throughout the several stages of life we all hope to achieve and reflect on one day.
As a child I could not say being a professional wrestler was a dream, because my brain would never go there. It wasn’t a possibility. Sure, I jumped off of the couch onto my younger sister more times than I ever hugged her. Of course I had the play ring and the rubber action figures. Yes, my mother found ways to take me to live events that were so much larger than life to a child that there are few things comparable.
But when that name popped up on that screen for the first time in my life I knew how to use the subconscious act of “knowing”. And knowing with my heart. You can spend all the years you wish believing in your head but until it transfers to the heart, it’s just a thought.
I knew in my heart he was there for a reason. I knew that there was magic in the air. It chilled my whole body and inspired my spirit to unbelievable heights.
Here I am…15 years old, 130 pounds, and broke.
After several months of attempts to be allowed into their world and school, these were proving to be obstacles I could not control, nor overcome but kept believing that it will happen one of these days. I just knew it.
That day came in the form of a question by the owner of the company
I was asked;
“So you really want to do this kid?”
“Are you willing to do anything to show us you have what it takes?”
All of which a thrilled young man roared “YES! YES! YES!”
My task was simple
“Take off your shirt and put both of your hands behind your back. No matter what, your arms stay behind your back”
Forced to expose the tiny little area I called a chest back then. I grew nervous as no other instructions were given.
“Do you know what a chop is?
“Of course” I trembled
I have watched Ric Flair open guys chest with chops. A simple open hand slap with all the forces needed to make such loud slap sounds that an audience of 12,000 people would need in order to hear it in the nose bleeds.
“If you can take 40 consecutive over hand and knife edge (backhanded) chops without stopping, or moving your arms from behind your back, we will let you train for free”
I will never forget the feeling. I remember the room became overwhelmingly silent as they awaited my decision. I remember the look in the girls eyes as if they were about to find out who the winner of American Idol would be this year.
Well, this year it was me
“Hell YES!!!” “Lets do this!” I demanded
I rip off my shirt, throw my arms behind my back, and taunt him to get this started and over with! I needed to get to training, and he was now the only thing in my way!
The first chop hits my chest with the impact of a wrecking ball. Steals every bit of wind right out of my lungs and refuses to give it back. The neighbors must had thought we shot a baby 22 pistol in the apartment. It was the most physically painful event of my life to that moment. I buckled over, went to my knees, gripped my chest with my arms, and was stunned at what just happened to me.
I looked up at this wrestler who found pride in doing such damage with one shot to this tiny little kid. And this was only number one. 39 more to go. As I made it to my feet, regained my breath, and apologize for moving my arms, a huge red hand mark starts to appear on my chest. Stretched shoulder to shoulder, and virtually bottom of my throat to the top of my belly.
Knowing is a powerful intent.
And I knew that I was going to be WWF Champion the very next day!
A fully grown man took all of his might and brought it down onto a child 1/3 of his size. He watched as bruises, welches, and now cuts started to form.
The girls watched in horror as I kept my eyes closed, endured the over the top hazing and then fall directly over them moment everyone counts to the number 40 and celebrates as if I had just blown out the candles on my 21st birthday.
I do not remember shot 2-39. But I remember the last one as if it just happened to me prior to sitting down.
It was over. I’m my head, I just earned the right to say I am a pro wrestler.
2 full summers of pure indulgence. Commitment like no other from a young teen with moderate book smarts and no real path in life to that point. I embraced the art form that is telling stories with your body. I studied like I have never studied before. I fell in love with it all over again.
From watching a name show up on my computer to now being on the road to my dreams. This was unreal.
Shortly after my 25th birthday I received a phone call telling me to report to the WWE’s flagship show, Monday Night Raw. I would imagine the only event that could come close to duplicating the feeling that engulfs your entire body when you realize that your dream has actually come true is winning millions of dollars in the lottery.
My best friend and I walked down that ramp in front of 13,000 people for the first time together. We both whispered phrases like “this is it” and “we are here” to each other as we strut down that ramp with pride.
It truly is amazing to be able to appreciate and take in the moment when your dream is now your moment in time.
We never got full time jobs with that company, and then a short time later, I broke my leg clean in half on a steel gaurdrailing.
Injuries stop you in your tracks. No matter what it is going on in your life, your are forced to be still in most cases.
This abrupt stop of momentum would now change my life and my so called “Dream”
I sat down one disabled day and my mother (who is someone years into her spiritual path by now) forced the video version of the documentary “The Secret” onto me.
The words that were being processed and the order in which they were being said all brand new to me. I never heard words like “Manifestation” or “Abundance” before. I may have heard them through my mom. But at that time I thought she was out of her mind and the only hippie I had ever met that has never, ever taken drugs.
I heard all of these wonderful, fresh ideas, that were all so simple and to the point. But for some reason, I seemed to tune out all the financial references in the film as my brain never related what I heard in the film to my financial status in life.
I immediately associated it with love. I spent months getting used to and understanding that if I believe something in my heart, then it will be. The thought need not go further. I just will be, and I know it.
I officially wanted something I had never had before.
Real, true, story book love that would last forever. I was done with this phase of my life and had a new “Dream”.
As with wrestling, I always stayed open and rather focused on being ready when it did come. I never had a shortage of applicants, so it was bound to find me.
Little did I know that in my manifestation I would bring something to the table that goes beyond the love between man and woman, beyond the love of any relationships prior. The day I realized how powerful manifestation and “knowing” can be was the day I first held my son.
Ladies and gentleman, if you can again, be in the moment of purposely knowing with your heart, watching and realizing what “knowing” brought to your life, you will have a firm understanding that “Dreams” are not this imaginary fairytale associated with your childhood thoughts. They are not these distant unreachable ideas that cannot be put into motion. They should be in your heart and absolutely known to be in your future.
Having a child inspires allot in a person who operates day to day with their heart as often as they possibly can. And in preparing for this little “dream” of mine, I starting having these visions of a future life for him created by my energy in the now.
Again, my dream changed.
I dreamt of opening a company in his honor and for not only my present, but his future stability in life. Something he could grow up being proud of. And something that could be a source of energy should he decide to tap into it.
But here I am again. 27, high school dropout, with only a single trade. And absolutely no money.
One day I simply made the decision. Strapped with only a “dream” and equipped with a small little sports car, a few paint brushes and a few rollers, a business titled with my sons initials was born.
Every single day I woke up with the intentions of creating something that the people around me never seen coming. I unleashed this incredible power of manifestation fresh off of the life changing 2 hours spent watching “The Secret”. Everyone that crossed my path was drawn to it. I had help from individuals who out of the blue decided they would pour their energy into it with me. And for nothing in return.
In a very short time I found myself operating around town with a brand new work van wearing vehical tags that read “LUVMY5ON”.
I knew it would happen because it came from my heart and I KNEW it would come to life.
I am now starting my fourth year and have accumulated 33 awards in our local community.
Don’t trick yourself into believing the word “dream” also translates to “not real”
It is whatever is in your heart.
Our energy is the most power force known to man.
If it is truly in your heart, then it can be easily, manipulated into focus.
Once you know you can do something in your heart and apply one hundred and twenty percent of your spirit and energy towards something, the universe will have no choice but to sit back and watch you bloom out of control in the direction of your heart.